T minus 42 - Today my teacher told me Science Fair is in six weeks, and that all fourth graders are required to enter. I brought it home right way because my dad says if I don't tell him about projects until right before they are due, he will take away TV for the rest of my life, kill me, or possibly just make other empty threats.
T minus 41 - I checked out a book about science fair projects.
T minus 40 - I returned the book about science fair projects.
T minus 36 - I think I am going to do a damn project. I mean a project on dams... or levee's if you prefer. But saying damn is alot more fun. Damn, damn, damn.
T minus 14 - Hmmh, I think I there was something I was supposed to be doing. Oh yeah, science fair. I haven't done anything in four weeks, it's been kinda nice. My Mom and Dad are starting to get a little nervous. Maybe, if they get real nervous the energy they create will help my project complete itself.
T minus 13 - I asked my teacher what project you can do at the last minute. She told me volcanoes are pretty easy. I guess I will do a volcano.
T minus 12 - Everybody does volcanoes.
T minus 11 - I already started the Damn project, I'm going back to that. Damn, damn, damn.
T minus 10 - Volcano, dam, volcano, dam, damn volcano, damn volcano. Maybe I'll combine the two.
T minus 5 - I am doing a project on Dancing Milk; I saw it online.
T minus 4 - My mom and dad are feeling guilty that they let me wait until the last minute. They are going to "help" me. That's more like it. My dad says that this is more of a demonstration than a science project. My parents design a science project. My mom goes and buys the materials, I watch TV, my dad starts setting up the experiment.
T minus 3 - My dad calls me into the room so I can watch him perform the experiments. It's pretty cool. I write down a couple of notes. He doesn't let me help too much. I don't think he trusts me with his science fair project. He takes pictures of all the different steps. I write down some illegible henscratch and give it to my dad. He takes it into the office and types it into the computer for me.
T minus 2 - My mom pretends to be translating more scribbles that I gave her, in fact she is writing the last of the info I have to write up. My mom prints out all of the pictures and the info for me. My mom cuts out the pictures and text and starts gluing them on for me. My dad gets home from work and figures out how to make the display stand up. My mom packs up all of the materials I will need for the demonstration at school. My dad does the demonstration one more time, to make sure it will work when I need to show it to my teacher. Maybe next year I will conduct an experiment about getting my parents to do my work for me. Well it's time for bed, I'm finished one day early. Hey, science fair projects aren't that bad.
