Last month I was driving down the road and he shouted out, "That way!" (Idiot.) That way was a pond. It cost me like $400 to get my car pulled out of the water.
Then a couple of weeks later I was getting onto the freeway and he screamed, "This way daddy, this way!" He just doesn't understand that freeways are strictly one way. And yet when the cop was writing out my ticket, he totally let me take the fall. Selfish stupid toddler.
Finally, yesterday, we decided to go to McDonalds to get some delicious chicken pieces-parts for lunch. That's when he noticed the playland and demanded I go, "That way." He is SO bad at this. We totally drove right through the window. I can't believe that this moron is the fruit of my loins. His every decision is tragically, incredibly wrong.